Diary 2304

Second week of school and I can't wait for the holidays already.

Days in poly. "Say long not long, say short also not short"

My direct translation from chinese. Well I'm just glad that I only have to take 4 study modules and one idea shit module, and only 2 is examinable. Non-examinable modules are more relaxing WHEN it comes to exam period, duh. But before that it's those mf projects. Really feel like pulling my hair out.

And then there's the idea shit module. Best part about it is making new friends. My lecturer this time round is some old man who is kinda a laid back, flexible person. Too flexible, not literally, it annoys me. And the shit ass projects. Wasting my time. Okay, what a ya-ya thing to say LOL "waste my time".

Here I am complaining about school, how much I wished there was no school, but I've only 2 more years being a student, if not 3 or 4 more if I'm able to get into a university? Then that's it. My 20 years of studying (I've included kindergarten) is O-V-E-R. I don't wanna grow up. I want to be young.

School matters aside, I think I've to learnt to take things my stride (?), and not be so tensed up. Learn to relaxxxxxxxxxxxx, and not always think that things will be bad bad bad. 'Cause really, things are better than I thought they would be. Stop thinking bad and learn to enjoy.

I read this tweet and found it really really meaningful. I took a screenshot of it, and when again I view a matter at its worst, I'll read it and hopefully feel better.

"Everything in life is temporary.

If things are going good, enjoy it.

If things are going bad, don't worry.

It can't last forever either."

Gonna be flying off to Switzerland in (exactly) 4 days time! Hope it's gonna be good! 

Good night x.

Annoying Electronics

I am very annoyed (and worried) right now. It's especially frustrating when your eps cock up. In my case, I'm gonna talk about my hard disk.

I bought my 1TB hard disk, and hardly used it. Just backed up some songs and pictures which were verrrrry little cause I was lazy. Then I lent Eugenia. Took back from her, left it on the shelf for a while, and POOF, it stopped working properly. Extreeeeeeeeeeeemely annoying. It's $120, and I barely used it! Grrrrrr.

Then I noticed the wire was a little loose, so I went to buy another cable, hoping that THAT is the cause of my not working hard disk. Just tried it (wrong cable but could fit, I don't know), DOES NOT WORK AT ALL.

I mean the computer detects the hard disk, but it doesn't show in Computer. Worse of all, I am not good at electronical stuff, and no one can actually and bothers to really really put their heart to help me. Pissed off.
It's the $100 and a waste of this thing. And I don't know how to warranty  shit works cause I don't have my receipt. GETTING MORE AND MORE ANNOYED AS I TYPE THIS.

And last night, my half a month old Fujitsu laptop, blue screened on me. Thank you very much.
Bless you Fujitsu, you must survive cause I don't know where the service centre is, and hopefully will never need to know.

In the meanwhile, anyone who can actually help me with my hard disk problem? Kind-hearted it whizzes perhaps? :( really feel like crying. ONE HUNDRED AND TWENTY DOLLARS SITTING ON THE SHELF EVERY DAY. Sigh, tearing as I type this.

Goodnight, school in a week. Not looking forward.

SAMANTHA YYT P.S.!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 
WHY IS MY PERMISSION TO READ YOUR BLOG DENIED!? U NO LOVE ME ANYMORE? :(

Pimple Face

*Still not getting used to this laptop's keyboard and its screen thingy sigh*

I have like six big pimples on my face currently. The swelly, red, painful kind. This does not include the small ones on the forehead and sometimes beside the nose. Worse outbreak for 17 years and 9 months.

I wonder if it's the hair dye. I don't remember being exposed to any other chemically, potential-pimple-causing stuff, other than the Wonderbrown hair dye. Pimples suck.

Went out with Vanessa today. Kinda walked around aimlessly like what I always do when I'm alone. Wasn't in a going out form/shopping form. Had this reeeeeeeeeeeally strange feeling at the tummy & above the tummy. I suspect it's serious indigestion. Felt a tad dizzy some times. Felt like puking most of the time. Cabbed home. Sigh, felt instantly better on the cab. Maybe it's the jellybean, not too sure about that.

Pimples pimples pimples. Taking extra care of my face these few days. I think I'm overdoing it. But at the same time, I scratch my face and pimple while typing (loads of germs on keypads) and while using phone. So......................

BBQ in 12+++ hours time! Kinda excited to the good food. Busy tomorrow and monday and maybe tuesday and maybe wednesday too. Oh yeah.

Wan an every one.

My weak spot is definitely kids and animals, especially cats and dogs.

In dramas, I would tear when the pets are sad, or when kids cry, but now upgrade to when the handsome male lead tears. Hahaha.

My heart also tend to cringe a bit whenever I see those stray animals. I feel like doing something for them. Giving them a bit of my love perhaps? It doesn't cost anything anyway. But I've never done anything for them. And I don't know what to do either. I've thought of joining as a volunteer at some pet shelter. Gonna go ask Samantha if she's interested (and free) to go with me. Otherwise I'll just drag Louis to go with me (help him gain some good karma at the same time too).

Sigh, at this point of time I feel so useless. Somehow animals are able to pull my heart to them more than children. Maybe it's because the animals are unable to do anything by themselves? I don't know..... Just somehow.

That's why (one of) my ambitions when I was young was to be a vet. But..... hahaha, forget it.

Guess I'm gonna email a few pet shelters later, since I won't be finding a job whatsoever till school starts. That's maybe 2-3 weeks?

On the other hand, I felt so good about myself today. It's a good day. Felt pretty & slim. Overall like not bad looking. Hehehe.

I wish for all those little ones out there to be safe and sound, and feel slightly better about themselves. They are not ugly, the world is.

Thinnest Line

Between life and death, is a really thin line.

Watched Charlie St. Cloud last week, One Day just now. Both had death related to them. And Louis' Bloomer. Death is kinda a stranger to me, till now. When I really think about it, I get all confused. The mentality of 'they will never come back' makes me cringe with confusion. It gets really scary when it comes to a point when the meaning of 'never' pricks you all of a sudden.

Life suddenly feels more brittle that ever. Well, I guess it's still a part of life that nothing and no one can dodge away from. Wonder how it feels like.....



On a side note, I'm forever feeling so inferior and insecure. Slowly changing into a different person, a character that I've never thought of being.

I've never been called a quiet person till recently. It's uncontrollable. I just wish to be alone, I don't want people to come and talk to me because it makes me feel so uneasy. When did I become such a person, unfriendly. Sigh at my life.

I don't know, I don't know.... No more thinking for today. Good night.

Random thoughts

The same thing happened again, yes again.

So jealous, so envious of other people. Richer, more clothes, more bags, cooler, more fun lives. But there seems to be this thing that reminds me to not be so shallow. These are materials that are not to die for, and even if they are, I mustn't be upset that I don't have them. Cause when you gain something, you lose something. I'll always keep that in mind.

Last day of boring trade show tomorrow, feeling like a bastard, don't know whether to do or not. Planning to go for manicure session and hair dyeing & treatment session after that, as if I have all the time in the world.
Gonna be out with Aunts & Cuz on Saturday. It has been really long.

I remember the Saturdays where my third Aunt would bring me out. I was kind spoiled by her (and my parents). Going out means can buy one thing, a toy, shirt or something, and only eating at restaurants. Luckily miser Louis Saw saved me. Coffee shops, no problem!

Goodnight everyone, x.

New Laptop

Hello all, this is my first blog post on my Fujitsu Lifebook, that will probably (definitely) gonna live with my for at least two years. :)

Was planning to get a MacBook all along, and a Canon Powershot ($400), but I realised that would be wayyyyyyy too much money. Sudden hit of sensibility I shocked myself.

First night, opening my laptop, switching it on, comparing with my current Vaio, regretted. Thought about the money, okay-ed. :)

So, previous week was food fair, then last week was it fair. Work work work. Earned a bit, made me feel happy and accomplished. Following this week is some trade show at MBS. (just keeping track, for myself)

Currently still getting used to the new keyboard, quite annoyed because the typo probability just increased by 0.8 damn it.

Have a great week, anyone who is reading this, I love you!  

Pretty

I wanna be prettier

Went shopping, (and loads of eating) with Shyanne yesterday. Wore horribly, but somehow didn't give two hoots about what other people think. Probably just one.

I am thinking of getting a camera, it's approx. $400. So I'll probably have to work extra hard this coming I.T. fair and maybe work after that at TLC, maybe with Eugenia.

Everything is better with friends.

Just a short update, bye. 

Trust Issues

No one trusts me or the things I say. Is it because I am stupider than the world?

 

 

Ever since I've decided to "study 10 hours, score 80 points" and not "study 20 hours, score 100 points", it has become more difficult for me to get down to studying and all. Since last week, I've been telling myself I need to start. Procrastinate till this week. Finally managed to get started on Monday. But, it's just 2,3 hours every day, till yesterday. Hopefully, today will be more productive.

Tennis this morning was awesome. Felt really active & energetic. Maybe it's cause I unloaded the burden in my large intestine. Hehe. I never used to be daring enough to go to public toilets alone. I did this time, and it was okay. Wasn't totally alone, cause there were many aunties. Then it struck me. I wanna be braver.

Ciao people.
by the way, should i learn german, spanish or french? currently considering only french & german. :)

Things That Trouble Me

Money problems, sigh. 谈钱伤感情 is absolutely true, no joke at all. Some times I really hate money. Money is what every one is working for. Some people hurt others just to get this money. Come to think of it, money is just paper that smells, and some thing used in exchange for things.
I wanna work harder, and not have money issues next time. I don't need to be Bill Gates rich. I just want to be normal, affording things that I like & want, and my kids too of course, and that we can go on holidays occasionally, probably once a year at least. Okay kinda greedy actually, but ya, that's my aim!

Then it's height problems. Many envy me, "your size so cute", "guys all like petite girls one yknow!"
Sometimes I just want to be taller. People used to (still are) make fun of me and my height. When I'm in a good mood, I'll just laugh it off, no harm I know. But when it's a blue-day, I actually cringe a bit and cry inside... Hahaha, emo nemo.

Fats issue. My stubborn fats are really more stubborn than 10 donkeys combined.

School problems. Work-wise and relationship-wise.

Inferiority issues. I feel inferior easily, like DUPER easily I admit. Nice double eyelids, long eye lashes, nice nose, nice lip shape, good complexion, nice hair, nice legs, nice legs, nice legs, nice legs, nice bag, nice wallet, nice clothes, nice shoes, nice car, nice house, nice friends, nice life and it goes on and on and on and on and on.........


Anyway, Jieshy and Channy are coming over to my place tomorrow for a CNY gathering. I'm gonna be preparing all the food, and opening a moscato I got my mum to get for me. It's like MINEEEEE. <3
Disappointed that Sammy & Belly aren't able to make it. It's like a rare thing to come to my place, really really rare. I like the feeling, I hope my kids' friends would come to my house often. I'll give them nice food.

Good night tulips (T for Things That Troubles), time flies, it's almost 1.
Stop your procrastination and start preparing for exams, Liew Wen Min. 不怕死吗?!!?!?

Dragon Year 2012

Chinese New Year's Eve:

Reunion lunch was steamboat at maternal grandmother's place, and dinner was also steamboat at paternal grandmother's place. It's basically the same every year, but I am not gonna take that from granted because our grandparents won't be with us forever.

CNY Day 1:

Traditional Hakka food for brunch. It's something we only get to eat once a year. I used to find them mehhhhz, but this year I was genuinely excited about it, and really appreciated it. Here's how it looks :)

 

There's tau kwa with some veg on the top left, then mock fishballs with peas. In the centre is vermicelli with idk, then bottom left is black fungus with something, and bottom right is mock cod. There is also mock char siew. The char siew and cod are my all time favourite. :)
(Haha thought that people might me interested to know what they are ^^)

After that is dinner at maternal grandma's place again with a bit of gambling with my uncle and cousins. But some how the feeling isn't really there I don't know why.

Day 3:

Send my parents off to Taiwan, and freedom starts nowwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!!!! Okay actually I was really really excited that my parents are going overseas. It would only be me, my brother and me at home. Looking forward to THAT freedom omg. But when I hugged them goodbye, I realised there were tears welling up in my eyes, sigh I am emotional like that.
Then went to temple, then to Shyanne's place. :)

Gambled with a bit more feeling hahaha, luck is not bad this year.
After that went to Louis' place, for the first time~ *blushes
Went back quite late, and my brother went back to school. The whole house empty.. pretty scary actually.


This year's chinese new year on the whole was much more eventful as compared to others, probably because of the freedom I have. Hahaha missing it already.

Lovin' every one in my life, FOR REAL!!  

Okay ciaos!

Friiiiiiiiiiday

Haven't been blogging anything cause it has been kinda busy and yeah. Plus lazy to upload photos too.
Anyway, life has been pretty much filled with activities for me. Just this period only.

And omg, in a few days it's February. Times flies crazily fast it's really really crazy.

Gonna miss today's party with sisters for Louis' birthday chalet. Soooooooooooooo busy, but happily.

I love you(s) sisters. <3 *blushes

Sunday night

I can be really sweet sometimes. Hand written books for Isabel and Louis already. I can't remember if I did one for the rest of my sisters. :)
Not easy you know!

Anyway, it's a new week again. Gonna be real busy. Hang on every one! Hang on Liew Wen Min!

Days don't stay grey forever

Blogging on my phone, and auto-correct.
Two issues today, but very different. From content to mood, okay these two only.

Happy one first:
I like Lee Min Ho. He is so handsome. Okay it's cause I'm (finally) watching Personal Taste. So so sweet, so so caring. I talked myself to bed last night. Reminding myself it's all just a show. All the coincidences, money blablabla. Liew Wen Min it's just a show okay? Okay.

On a side note, here are a few korean industry um people I like (all guys coincidentally, not) (in order of my head)
1. Lee Min Ho
2. Kim Bum
3. Hyun Bin
4. 2pm guys
Okay I can't think of anymore RIGHT NOW.

I'm actually pretty envious of Eugenia. The fact that she can sing and can go for auditions. Jyp auditions. It's like a step closer to korean um guys.
I wanna be a singer but I can't sing. I wanna be an actress but I don't like to act.
Is there more to life? Life so plain so mundane. Doing the same things every day. It's just money money money. Then jealousy, hatred. Not that life equals bad things but often the bad buries the good.

Which brings me to my second issue.
I'm getting immuned, like numb. Okay not gonna talk about this.
Or this.

I wanna be a singer cause I have so many things I wanna write into songs. Just saying.

I love you Liew Wen Min. Stay brave, stay strong. (Is it wrong and bian tai encouraging myself? Ö)

Good night, stay strong. With loves.

Mentally rolling on a roller coaster

Stressed with school work, stuff at home, money stuff, LS's birthday stuff, school work, my fats, my height, my clothes, mum screamed at me.
Broke down. Depressed. Lack of sleep (but im ok without much sleep). Then was okay.

And today. I feel so stoney. Yeah, stoney.

Anyway, today is 3/4 jeans + pumps day instead of the regular shorts and slippers. Feeling comfortable emotionally about my outfit. It's nothing fancy but much more appropriate for school. I have fat and short legs. im sexy and i know it. Haha wtf. Okay but it's kinda uncomfortable.

Okay bye. Samantha Yeo I know you are reading this. Better post more hor.

Crazy

So many things to do, so many things on my mind. Exploded yesterday, catalysed by my mother's shouting. I think she feels guilty cause she started talking to me today, hehe.

Anyway, there is so much to do it's overwhelming. I'm completing them one by one, trying my best not to procrastinate. Improving (in not procrastinating) so far, not too bad. Kudos to me.

Dry your tears, all you cry babies.

My Belated New Year Resolution

1. Stop procrastination, especially school work - follow according to planner
2. Have neater/nicer handwriting - hopefully have own style, but....
3. Make my tears worth more, stop being such a cry baby.
4. Limit intake of soft drinks - think of the calories!
5. Get a part-time job

to be continued...

Back To School

First day of school, it was not a stranger, but like a long lost friend. Kinda lost amidst the tutor's slides and lecture notes.
Wellllllllllll, this term is gonna be real short and gonna zoom really quickly. So my new year resolution for this year for school would be to not procrastinate. Writing every thing in my planner AND sticking to them, finishing whatever I have to for the day. Talking about that, I have a tutorial to complete today, but I still haven't bathed............... Should I stay up... :/

Anyway I read Eugenia's blog just now and am quite touched that I'm often in her mind, with her clique. Haha, I'm a caring person thanks. I am easily touched, easily blablabla.

Okay, time is running out, I feel so so busy. Oh dear. Tennis tomorrow. After tennis, I don't know if I would still have energy to do my work. Okay, there's thursday morning. Yes yes, up till now I still cannot remember my time table.

Goodnight every one, hope you had a good day in school~ (or work)

p.s. I realise sometimes I "blog to myself", sometimes I "blog to people". okay bye.

2012

Anyway, 

HAPPY NEW YEAR! May 2012 be a blast for every one. :)

Picnic at Botanic Garden

The night I posted the previous post, I was mad excited to go outdoors. Sooooooooooooooooo I had a picnic at Botanic Garden with Louis. :)
We took Circle Line to Botanic Garden (Bukit Timah exit), then walked all the way to the other end, Tanglin exit. Almost died at that point, but when it's over, there's this mysterious happiness. Endorphins? I was physically and mentally tired.

BUT there's a second round; shopping with Chantel. I had to rest every 30 minutes or so, otherwise I had to eat. Sighs.

Pictures!

Louis' (failed) potato salad

My awesome turkey mayo sandwich

"Very smelly leh your cigarette?" "okay okay I cover for you"

Haha I think I look sexy in the reflection :)

Fave pic of the day. My brilliant idea thanks

<3